It’s been a little over a week since returning from the most beautiful wedding weekend in Vermont. I witnessed an incredible couple choose love, celebrated with beautiful friends, and was surrounded by literal breath-taking scenery.
I mean come on….this place was GORGEOUS.
And could I be luckier to know such beautiful souls?
Upon arriving in Vermont, I was quickly reminded of just how good traveling, and being with people you love, can be for the soul. I was distantly removed from my life for a couple of days and man did it feel good. As all vacations do, the weekend had come to an end and it was time to return to normal life. Driving back home, I couldn’t help but become overwhelmed with dread. I don’t know about you, but something about returning to responsibilities and the day-to-day routine can be a bit of a downer. A part of me kept telling myself, “come on…you have so many good things to go home to. Reality isn’t bad”. But no matter what I told myself, I couldn’t seem to shake this thought of “don’t make me go back!”. Come to think of it though, I’ve been experiencing a lot of dread, anxiety, and even depression, in the past few months. I wake up and hit the snooze button 15 times because I most definitely don’t want to face the stress and drama of work (anyone in social work/mental health is fully aware of how stressful this can be), I procrastinate on my school work because scrolling through my timeline seems to be a much easier, mind-numbing option to spend my time, and in general, I’ve been protruding this negative energy that is now infiltrating my interactions with others, my choices, and my natural well-being. Anyone who knows me, knows that positivity and optimism are ingrained into my core, but lately I’ve noticed that I can’t help but feel negative emotions more regularly. Sadness, lack of motivation, fear, doubt, etc., I’ve been experiencing them all.
Of course I’ve experienced these emotions before, but I’ve never experienced them for this long. And in all honesty, it terrifies me. I have no idea how to get out of this place.
I’ve spent the last month off and on crying, attempting to work through these feelings and trying to stop them all together. But instead of “trying to figure it all out”, I’ve decided to allow myself to truly experience and embrace negative feelings. It wastes more energy for me to fight these emotions than to naturally allow myself to work through them, and even cope with them. As an advocate for mental health awareness and someone struggling with the stigma attached to mental health, I feel compelled to begin sharing my journey and my experiences learning to manage my own personal mental health. Mostly because, I can’t even begin to attempt inspiring others without breaking down my own walls and sharing my most vulnerable moments with you.
So, each week I want to highlight a new coping skill that I will practice regularly throughout a week, giving you the scoop on whether the practice was helpful, harmful, and/or everything in-between. My intent with this series is to hopefully be helpful to anyone else struggling to see the light and/or feel like his or her best self. Because really, we all reserve the right to be good, feel good, and do good.
I can’t wait to begin sharing these trial run moments with you all, but for now, I hope we all choose to embrace this week ahead with open hearts, thoughtful minds and determination to give the world goodness.
Thanks for reading loves!